Skip to main content

#Blackgirlmagic Not so magical

By Felicia Clark


Black girl magic!  Black girl magic? What the hell is it? From the very first moment I heard there was even such a thing, that was the question that circulated in my head. The ‘magic’ it seems, is portrayed as some sort of gold stardust. Have you ever asked yourself, at  what cost is spent with this “magical” perception?

Being black in itself is a hefty price, but add woman to the title and increase the magnitude.  

The concept of strength.
Black women are so STRONG. So much so that we’re at times perceived as inhuman. And when you’re strong, you are often targeted. To be penetrated, broken down, like an adversary or villain.  When we cry, it’s not alarming. No one runs to us to give us a hug, or even a damn kleenex!

The lack of understanding and compassion for black women often times leaves us feeling alone and not cared for. Unloved. When we try explain or express whatever is plaguing us, the very sound of our voices are considered too harsh or loud. Suddenly we’re acting out.

We’re so used to holding it all in that when we stand up for ourselves we’re considered out of control. Then here comes another absurd term again: angry black woman. It’’s quite disturbing that this is actually a term that is commonly used to subscribe such magical beings. I have yet to hear of an “angry white woman”, “angry latina woman”,or “angry asian woman”. They get cute terms like “feisty” and “passionate”, our passion is threatening.

The irony of it, is our “strength” no matter how threatening is a requirement of competency.
It has been passed down for many generations.

Anything less is a sign of weakness. I remember almost going into premature labor. So premature that it was highly likely that I would’ve lost my baby. When I realized what was happening, I cried.

My mother yelled at me, “So you’re just gonna cry? Damn. There’s nothing you can do about it!” This kind of teaching leaves many black girls with a harshness about themselves...towards themselves. To the point where nurturing ourselves-- forgiving ourselves is almost unheard of. Let’s face it, almost from the womb we are taught how to withstand and endure just about anything. Even when someone does us wrong, we accept it time and time again. That’s just what we do. Magical isn’t it?

What’s magical is expression. Something that is lost amongst many of us. Having being taught that everyone’s  feelings takes precedence over our own. Feelings that are then bottled up to the point that it weighs down heavy on the soul. After awhile, it piles up. Then it overflows. causing an explosion. Then the narrative is, “She’s crazy! She’s an angry black woman!” Instead of being a woman that took too much for far too long. Or a woman that didn’t learn how to deal with her emotions effectively.

Despite what has been embedded, we really should learn ourselves. Learn when enough is enough. When we should let go and walk away from a situation that’s not serving us. We need to not be so hard on ourselves. Also, while maneuvering through this thing called LIFE, understand we will make mistakes.  How else are you supposed to learn?? Learn how to forgive and nurture yourself. And always, always celebrate YOU.

Despite what you may have heard… we are human. And it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be scared. To cry out and allow our tears to flow like a river. Learning how to love. Walk in your TRUTH. That SistaGurls, IS MAGICAL.

Felicia F. Clark wrote her first story at the age of 5. She has been a published author since the age of 15. She is currently a freelance writer for The Isthmus Newspaper in Madison, WI. Felicia Clark is also the coauthor of WTF Volume 2 and WTF Mothers Edition. And the author of Forgive Yourself, Felicia. No matter how forthcoming she may be, she aims to deliver her message "As Lovingly As Possible"

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ladies, Make Him Act Right! (From a man's perspective)

So ladies, we have a tendency to get advice from women about MEN far more than we should. So I have a special treat today. We're going to get some advice on how to entice, encourage, and exalt a man from you guested it.. A MAN. I picked one, who speaks with the sole purpose to educate. So some of his language may be a bit harder than you're used to but.. you will not be disappointed. Capt SistaGurl Out! 

Introducing Tikko Brohey 
Ladies do you feel like “dudes ain’t shit” or “dudes don’t act right?” Have you ever thought about the things you do that contribute to that? The answer is probably not. 

Now granted there are dudes out there who just ain’t shit, and that’s just what it is. Majority of men are good men. But his partner can often determine just how good he'll actually be. Every woman deserves to be treated like a queen, as every man deserves to be treated like a king. The disconnect comes from when there’s an argument all the King and Queen shit is out the window. You…

SG's 2019 Holiday Gift Guide - Part 1!

By Capt SistaGurl and SG Team 
Happy Holidays SG!

Around this time of year. Magazines and bloggers around the globe clamor to feature their biggest and brightest Holiday Gift guides with much fanfare. However, larger markets rarely feature small businesses ran and/or operated by women, specifically women of color. Here at the SistaGurl, we wanted to make sure that when we decided to do a gift guide, it was going to be all about our femme-tastic melanin-laden sistas.

It's very important to ensure that small businesses get the exposure that they deserve and we are loving these queens. (We have a few kings in here too.) 
Skincare

Skincare becomes increasingly more important as we age. Women of color have the luxury of having higher amounts of melanin, which gives us more protection from the sun and keeps our skin tighter and younger longer.  However, effects on the skin in the colder months can be unforgiving to even the deepest skin tones.
Captain SistaGurl received few all-natural produ…

Fellas Pregame Your Online Dating Profile: Advice from your future bae

By Rapmusiq
So I’ve been in these internet dating streets for a few years now and I thought I’d do my future Boo a solid and give him the tips on how to snag a certified Queen ;). There’s no way around it, online dating is super weird. Most people are not even quite sure where to start. Shopping for humans isn’t something most people are used to; so we count on our instincts to make a snap decision when swiping right. Here are a few tips for the straight guys out there from a woman’s perspective.
I’ve seen these don’ts on so many profiles and confirmed them as turn-offs in mutual conversations with diverse groups of women. A few subtle changes can be the difference between you ending up in the inbox of the woman you would like to get to know better. Once you’re there let your personality, style, and charm to take it away!
Do's


Post great Pics I have noticed that most straight guys take horrible pics. They’re blurry, half your face is it cut off, you’re in a car with the seat belt stra…