The SistaGurl Blog

By Capt  Sista Gurl  I understand the headline was a bit jarring … I’m practicing clickbait, did it work? Now that the pandering is over with… I stand by my statement.  People often look for apologies to be a universal solvent to both large and small problems. Personally, I believe that an apology only satisfies the amends portion of the person doing the apologizing. Say you experience a deep cut, so severe that you know for certain you’ll need stitches. You rush to the ER and the nurse in triages gives you a bandaid and sends you home. Odds are, by the time you step out the sliding doors of the medical treatment center. You’ve left a blood trail reminiscent of a 90s teen horror film. Did the band-aid work for you then?  I believe that’s the premise of an apology. While people can be truly remorseful for their actions, the only thing that’s going to resemble stitches is the improvement of their future behavior.  As a purveyor of words and someone that understand...

  Dear Troy, I am officially back on the Dating Scene! But I really need to know...   How much is too much to ask on the first date? Is income off limits ? Sexual history? Signed Ms NEVA2MUCH Dear Ms Neva 2 Much, NEVA 2 MUCH!! (sorry... had a "Lufa" Vandross moment lol) Well first let me welcome you back to this crazy-ass-2020-newaged Dating Scene! Where anything is possible! Even dating robots...not that I have tried or anything, I'm just saying it's available... But I'm thinking you're into humans, so here we go! You are asking the right guy because I wrote the Book on Dating! "But, ...Naked Honest? Conversational Foreplay For Dating...Asking the Hard Questions Upfront" is literally the title!! So to answer your question, I don't think any question is TABOO on a first date. I mean honestly, what have you got to lose on a first date... but maybe a second date. My mentality is that you should ask and answer every question of significant importanc...

By Felicia Clark The holidays are the busiest time of the year. Even during a pandemic, people are doing their best to hold on to some sense of normalcy. I’m certainly not the exception...I have probably gone overboard with recreating traditions or trying to outdo the old way, with a newer, maybe even better, way.  For example, this past Halloween, I grabbed a few bags of candy and some take-out from each child’s personal favorite restaurant. Therefore, there were burgers, pizza, Chinese food, you name it. I laid blankets and pillows on the living room floor. Then I turned on a scary movie. My family and I gathered together to feast on junk food and watch a scary movie. Voila! Halloween in full effect!  Thanksgiving was just around the corner. Therefore, I was planning for yet another holiday. Usually, I would prepare a couple of dishes and go to my mother’s house to spend the holiday. Since my grandmother’s passing, most of my relatives would meet at my mother’s house to cele...

By Nikia Webster Was it Bishop Justin Timberlake? Church of *NSYNC - I believe - who said, “I thought I told ya, hey (What goes around comes back around)”  I’ll admit, at one point, I was with JT every step of the way, but much like Janet post-Super Bowl, I’ve had to exit stage left. In the present day, I believe karma only perpetuates the idea that life can be contained in tight, neat packaging and deemed predictable. If this were true if what goes around, does actually come around, wouldn't we treat everyone the way they should be treated by default?  Realistically, the pendulum of karma that we cling to is broken. Since its inception, the theory has failed to produce balance. It's as if karma eliminates the need for social justice or the pursuit thereof because it implies our moral fabric is already intact.  As comforting as the idea of karma may be, its existence simply isn’t tangible, and as we progress we’re called to achieve more by acknowledging what’s probable as...

NEW SUBMISSION ALERT! LADIES WE HAVE AN RELATIONSHIP ADVICE COLUMN NOW!!!!! I've always said, if you have a question about men, ask a man! Troy L. Rawlings comes highly vetted, and he has a very real way with words. Check out his first submission to his column with the SG Brand, "Dear Troy". XOXO Capt SistaGurl  Dear Troy I need you to tell me... from your perspective how important sex is to maintain a relationship. As a man... Is a woman supposed to be dutiful or does she have the right to disinterest?  How does that disinterest feel from a male perspective?   Signed,  Ms "NotTonightHunny" Dear Ms. Not2nite, Let me be "Naked Honest" with you sis, YOUR BODY IS YOURS AND NO ONE ELSE'S! If you don't want to have sex, you have the right to say No!!  I feel like I need to be crystal clear in saying that at the start of my response to you because many women deal with this. Over the almost 20 years of me doing my"Taboo Talk", Sex, Love, an...

By Capt Sista Gurl, Good Morning Friends! Seeing that it's Thursday, I figured I'd post a throwback! I wrote this way back in February 2020, you know, pre-corona, when life was vastly different. However, the fact still remains, social media has bested our confidence many a day, and we can always use a post like this. The allure of social media provides our senses with the notion that fairytales come true. It can show us things like the beautiful girl with the perfect waistline, smiling her perfect smile living her life as your favorite entrepreneur, standing shoulder to shoulder with all the stars of your dreams. It shows us that the once ridiculed guy in your Chemistry class in high school now owns a sports car, has 2.5 children, a perfectly adoring wife, and let’s face it, you never expected that weirdo to look like that, it never dawned on you that he could grow a beard and afford expensive cologne!  Often times if you live outside the confines of what is deemed “Social Me...

The spirit woke me up at 4:30a this morning. The morning tune that blared in my mental subconscious sang, “We’re broken down and tired, living life like a merry-go-round.” I have to admit that I chuckled at the creator’s goal with this.   I promised to write back to my SG Peeps and I knew that there would be uncertainty today. Before I went to bed, having intentionally watched nothing regarding the election, I struggled with knowing what to say. Thankfully, as the saying goes, "he’s not here when you want him, he’s right on time."  My former pastor Rev. William Green has this sermon about a biscuit. At first listen, you’re thinking where is he going with this story?? He details how a biscuit is created, a little love and attention with the ingredients, then they’re combined and rolled or kneaded, cut into sections, or dropped. Then of course placed in the oven. He mentions all this for a few reasons, namely because there is a process before rising.  The biscuit havin...

By Capt SistaGurl.  It's the Sunday night before the 2020 Election. This year, was nothing short of chaotic. I sometimes laugh at my 2020 opening post. "Give less of a F&ck in 2020. " It's crazy because I think 2020 gave less of a fuck about us! Go figure. I spoke so boldly, that I got the universe's attention. That's a joke, I know I'm not that powerful. But in all seriousness, if you're reading this post right now, you've survived ALL OF IT.  If you've merely witnessed the changes in the privacy of your own home with few casualties, you're still not who you were when this year started. For better or for worse, you're different now. Isn't that what vision is about? Aren't we supposed to receive a new view? Learn new things, unearth parts of ourselves that we didn't know? If that's the symbolism of what the vision means in 2020, I think it's safe to say that we HAVE SEEN SOME THINGS.  With two months to go in thi...