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The Sunday Night Curse

By Capt Sista Gurl - Laura Miller Starting around Thursday of every week, I make plans for myself and my clients over the weekend. Their quest is typically lighter than mine but it’s geared towards something that can make their Monday or upcoming week easier.  My plan for myself is typically a laundry list of things to do. Things like to clean everything in the house, finish your book, broker a peace treaty, and REST. Fun fact. I have yet to accomplish all the weekend goals that I set for myself so like clockwork every single Sunday night I feel like I’ve failed. Doesn’t matter how much I did do, or if my daughter and I’s dance party was the best yet. I still feel like a complete failure.  What’s ironic about this is, I know better. When my clients' text and say, they weren’t able to get everything done because they were exhausted, I reassure them. What’s even more perplexing is, when I worked in corporate America it was a different type of Sunday evening darkness. More like “when

That Meh feeling that just won't let up!

By Nikia Webster I swore to myself that I would start the year with a renewed sense of energy and a newfound list of ideas, only to find myself entering the year with a few more unfinished items on my to-do list and even less motivation. Even the nature of this article was meant to be different, but alas, I'm exhausted, so instead, I'd like to take a moment and talk to those who keep grinding even when they're completely unaware of what's going on around them.  As we settle into 2021, understandably, many aren’t feeling rather enthused. 2020 was as a year engulfed in loss, civil unrest, and the beginning of an ongoing global pandemic crowned by a silent ball drop on New Year’s Eve. Despite the aforementioned series of events many of you may still be thinking, “I hear what you’re saying, but there’s work to do. People are counting on me. My job needs me. Not to mention my children require my immediate attention and don’t get me started on the deadlines that I set for mys

Dear Troy - Is he into me, for real?

Dear Troy Does a man show his interest in his actions or what he says ?  The issue is th is  guy always says he wants to  be with   this lady (my friend) ,  but  he never comes  through .   Is he really just  soooo  busy or  does he have a   " whole wife " ? Lol,  All Kidding Aside... HELP!!!! Signed, Ms Really For My Girl This Time Hey Ms. Really!!! Yo sis, real talk... he COULD have a whole wife!! Men generally are very intentional about what they want. And a sign that a man may be preoccupied, be it in his mind, his house, or his bed, is his lack of commitment. Let me destroy a falsehood right now, MEN DO COMMIT!!!! Men are the original FANS (short for fanatics)! We commit to sports teams, even when they lose all the damn time. We commit to jobs even if we don't like them. Men commit to work out regimens, that old chair, holey socks, and underwear... dad loved his hats... AND MEN PROPOSE AND MARRY WOMEN AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR KIDS TOO!! And when a man is into

2021 - Make a wish, take a chance, and break-away

By Capt. SistaGurl. Normally, by now you would have heard a New Year message from me. I must be transparent. I've written the New Year message to all my SistaGurl and men of distinction, SEVERAL times. None of the messages quite hit the mark. So I'm going to try this one off the dome.  Whatever comes out today, is in of essence what should be said, and what is necessary from the soul of my art as a creative. So I shall take a deep breath, and deliver something that is meaningful to not only me. But to you as well. Not because it's going to sound perfect, but simply because it's what's required of us.  There are a couple of words that my subconscious gave me over the last several days that have been brimming through my mind. So that's how we'll start this message.  Here they are:  Endurance Effort Power Transparency Break-Away Expectation.  While like many of us, I tried every attempt to completely banish the memory of 2020 out of my life henceforth from now

I Ain’t Sorry - Apologies are useless

By Capt  Sista Gurl  I understand the headline was a bit jarring … I’m practicing clickbait, did it work? Now that the pandering is over with… I stand by my statement.  People often look for apologies to be a universal solvent to both large and small problems. Personally, I believe that an apology only satisfies the amends portion of the person doing the apologizing. Say you experience a deep cut, so severe that you know for certain you’ll need stitches. You rush to the ER and the nurse in triages gives you a bandaid and sends you home. Odds are, by the time you step out the sliding doors of the medical treatment center. You’ve left a blood trail reminiscent of a 90s teen horror film. Did the band-aid work for you then?  I believe that’s the premise of an apology. While people can be truly remorseful for their actions, the only thing that’s going to resemble stitches is the improvement of their future behavior.  As a purveyor of words and someone that understands the power, the phrase

Dear Troy - "How Deep is Too Deep on a First Date?"

  Dear Troy, I am officially back on the Dating Scene! But I really need to know...   How much is too much to ask on the first date? Is income off limits ? Sexual history? Signed Ms NEVA2MUCH Dear Ms Neva 2 Much, NEVA 2 MUCH!! (sorry... had a "Lufa" Vandross moment lol) Well first let me welcome you back to this crazy-ass-2020-newaged Dating Scene! Where anything is possible! Even dating robots...not that I have tried or anything, I'm just saying it's available... But I'm thinking you're into humans, so here we go! You are asking the right guy because I wrote the Book on Dating! "But, ...Naked Honest? Conversational Foreplay For Dating...Asking the Hard Questions Upfront" is literally the title!! So to answer your question, I don't think any question is TABOO on a first date. I mean honestly, what have you got to lose on a first date... but maybe a second date. My mentality is that you should ask and answer every question of significant importanc

Excuse me, let me check myself - A lesson in Gratitude

By Felicia Clark The holidays are the busiest time of the year. Even during a pandemic, people are doing their best to hold on to some sense of normalcy. I’m certainly not the exception...I have probably gone overboard with recreating traditions or trying to outdo the old way, with a newer, maybe even better, way.  For example, this past Halloween, I grabbed a few bags of candy and some take-out from each child’s personal favorite restaurant. Therefore, there were burgers, pizza, Chinese food, you name it. I laid blankets and pillows on the living room floor. Then I turned on a scary movie. My family and I gathered together to feast on junk food and watch a scary movie. Voila! Halloween in full effect!  Thanksgiving was just around the corner. Therefore, I was planning for yet another holiday. Usually, I would prepare a couple of dishes and go to my mother’s house to spend the holiday. Since my grandmother’s passing, most of my relatives would meet at my mother’s house to celebrate.  M