The SistaGurl Blog

By Rapmusiq Christmas night after a lovely day spent with close family friends I took the plunge. I joined Tinder. That’s right, the shady, hook up, cliché dating site. The very same one. I did it on a whim.  A challenge, of sorts, from my close sistah friend who joined the site a few weeks prior. She joined to get over her ex. She told me, “It’s really not that bad. And it’s not just for hook ups. You just have to be very clear in your profile about what you want. Look at all these Tinderoni’s I already got.” Intrigued by the notion, I laid in bed crafting the perfect profile statement. After selecting 3 distinct photos of myself (in different places in the world and two with leg just for good measure); I settled on this brief yet informative bio: “Crazy, sexy, cool. (Yes, that’s a 90’s r&b reference) Driven, goal oriented, and somehow still fun. Love to chat music, arts, and politics. Divorced, no kids. Not interested in random hook ups.” I swiped for weeks, full...

This is a taboo subject. That I’ve thought about quite a bit but never had the courage to really vocalize. Courage and fear are funny things because one of them is just as strong as the other, it’s just a question of which one you choose to live in. So today, I choose to live within a courageous light. Why, being a black woman, and an active christian would I have a fear vocalizing my opinion on how black men have been failed by the church? Messages are often misconstrued based on the perception of the reader. Additionally, it’s best practice to NOT add any fire to the flame of those that question institutionalized religion. However, in this case, I think I’d like to get this out with the hopes that some black man, within a particular age, will utilize this post as a reason to do better in reaching young black men. There was a time when the core of the civil rights movement was centered around black men and women within religious faiths. They actively worked together,...

With adult eyes the movies you watched as a kid become new. The first 100 times I watched “What's love got to do with it.“ I payed attention to Angela Basset's stellar performance and the depiction of Larry Fishburne as a demon named Ike. This biopic touches on some SERIOUS things that I think as your Captain Sista Gurl, I’m obligated to revisit.  I’ve listed a few below: Sometimes it feels like love, but it isn't. (Get her mind, the body will follow) If you are in need of love, because you haven’t found it within yourself, a man that’s aware of how women, think and what they want, can game you out of far more than your panties. He can literally reform the way your brain works, your ideas die, his ideas become yours. This is why prostitution is the oldest profession in human history. IN HISTORY ladies. It’s not a skill that should be ignored. Before that man laid a hand on Ms. Tina, he had laid the groundwork necessary to keep her talents to himself and will her...

The SistaGurl Blog: It's Not Love, it's Love Adjacent : It’s my thought that the heart and the mind take turns in sharing authority in how we pattern our personal decisions. They cannot both be i...

It’s my thought that the heart and the mind take turns in sharing authority in how we pattern our personal decisions. They cannot both be in control at the same time, and I believe that there’s a celestial straw pulling to determine which will rule within each given moment. The dangerous part about this is, sometimes when the heart wins, we forget to use our brain . When this happens, we start making decisions that are completely passion driven, hunger driven, and backed behind a receptor that shouldn’t receive as much showtime as it’s getting. Sometimes you fall in love with someone that is all wrong for you. They don’t feed you spiritually, they don’t feed you mentally, and maybe they don’t respect you. But they have ONE or two things on our list, so we keep them around. But by osmosis, all the signs that you saw in the beginning appear a bit less obvious, and now you THINK you love this person. Your heart is in control and your brain is taking a break, your brain has ...