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Showing posts from 2016

Decoding the Ladies Man

I love crushing gender stigmas and behavior. So to start a new blog series, I would like to talk specifically about the PlayBoy, Ladies Man, or whatever we are calling these men.
Of course culturally a man that has many options is considered a king amongst men. He is winning, he is the guy that you can always count on for an exciting story of his conquests, the one the ladies go crazy for. (Picture Will Smith in the Fresh Prince, The Mack, James Bond..any movie with George Clooney-or Clooney in real life. Perhaps even the President of the United States.)  We can address why society values and exploits this type of a man in a positive manner but...let's skip that part..
Today I would like to focus on the reasons how these men became who they are. And guess what I am not blaming the women they are seeing. (Society spends enough time bringing those ladies down anyway).
The Mike Jones. They were probably the type of boys who didn't get much attention from girls and they had a swan…

How do we explain the outcome of the Presidential Election to our kids?

I just read a CNN Article by Alexandra King that touched on this exact issue. I must say when I went to bed last night, we as a nation, were heading towards Hilary Clinton becoming the first female President of the United States the night before. (When I went to bed the tally was 190 to 168 electoral votes for Clinton.) When I woke up this morning the first thing I did was check my phone to confirm the results which were completely different. DONALD TRUMP WINS PRESIDENCY. This is what my phone told me, and as I got dressed and ready to work, this thought pained me. What am I going to tell my son?
My son was born in the Obama era. As long as he has been a conscious human being, he has had an African American president and first family. The possibilities of his world are limitless. My son, like many other children, are actively vocal, and he and his class mates speak about the election process at school day and they were all confident that this MEAN MAN would not become the next Preside…

The Objectification of Men

By Renee Pitter
As a black feminist, I spend some of my time thinking, speaking and educating on the dangers of the objectification of women. The notion that women are somehow not fully human and can be seen, compared to and thought of as things (que R. Kelly's "You remind me of my jeep."). When people are not seen as fully human entitled to inalienable rights or worse not even seen as somebody's child, sister, mother or friend; it becomes easy to dismiss their needs and ultimately leads to much of the abuse and violence we experience in our culture.

I would like to make the case for a different kind of objectification. One that often goes under the radar, but is a source of strife, struggle and often leads to the destruction of relationships and whole families. The objectification of men.

From the time women are young, they are trained that they must find a mate. (See Chimamanda Adiche's “We should all be feminist”) Much of their worth and value is tied to not …

KickAss Workouts to Relieve Stress!!

By: Neecy Roney
When people think of stress-reducing exercises, the first thought that comes to mind perhaps is yoga, Pilates, Tai Chi or some other form of mind-body exercises, also known as Somatic techniques. Makes sense. We’re often told to practice controlled-breathing, focus on our mind, body and soul and just relaaax for the best method of stress relief. I get it. Now, I am a huge advocate for mind-body exercises and the art of meditation that is embedded within these techniques; however, if you’re anything like some people, while you’re in that downward dog position, you’re thinking about what’s for dinner, tomorrow’s agenda, or if you completed that task that was due for work. Not quite productive and in fact, probably increases even more stress!

And what about running? When the heart rate is accelerated, your body releases endorphins. You know, the “feel good” substance – natural opiates that make you feel amazing with no side effects. And yes, that rhythmic flow of repetit…

The Unapologetically Black Playlist!!

Brainwavepowermusic.com states, "that music can trigger the brain to release chemicals to distract the body and mind from the pain." Today, I, like most of you are in pain. Dealing with the turmoil that has stumbled upon us after the deaths of both Alton Sterling and Philando Castile. By now we are all aware of the details that transpired as well as whom brought them to their untimely demise.

We at The Sista Gurl are here to help you heal, or at best, release some of your emotions through music. Here is a collection of songs we think can help you remain "Unapologetically Black" at all times without consequence. A free space for your listening ear to be as Black and Proud as you like! If you have any more tracks you'd like to add, please like comment and share.

[  ]Angie  Stone - brotha
[  ]What's going on- Marvin Gaye
[  ]Promise land - Damien Marley and Nas
[  ]Young Gifted and Black - Nina Simone
[  ]They don't care about us- Michael Jackson
[  ]Get…

BBMAS Prince Tribute: Epic Fail

I just wasted three hours of my life watching the BBMAS anxiously awaiting the tribute to Prince.  So here's the thing. I have a bias, because I live for music but have never been pleased by how African American artists are underrepresented in award shows. Of course the only exception would be BET of course.  So I willingly jeopardized my principals and watched the show because I'm like maybe,  just maybe Madonna can pull this off. Here's where my imagination expected the tribute to go. She'd come out in some fly purple suit (check), she'd maybe sing the most poppy of Prince tunes ( When Doves Cry or Raspberry Beret), doves would literally be released from her magical corset, and it would be a fantastic show. She would even impress us, with pulling Patty LaBelle from the audience and she'd give an a capella rendition of purple rain that would have the audience reaching to the Heavens and making the stank face simultaneously.FRIENDS, this didn't happen. Mado…

When Love Isn't Enough Part:1

Every Wednesday I join a relationship chat on twitter with @sixbrownchicks, and we help out our tweeps with their relationship woes. Also, sistas like to help me with blog ideas and a really good question came up. " What do you do when love isn't enough?". I read the question, and I thought about it deeply before I answered her. The first thing I did was actually contemplated what love really means. For myself, and for the root of my understanding. So I asked another #sistagurl what her idea of love really was, and she gave me a poignant answer. She stated that loving someone is being able to see the GOD in them. Marinate on that for a second. I think this encapsulates what love means and it stretches further than just love relationships.After that, the question asked of me then made more sense. Love, at its core is only the start of a relationship. Its what captures a soul, and connects you to another person. So what do you do when your souls are no longer connected? In…

Sister Wife Series: Conclusion (Throwback Thursday)

Penned by Devin Miller


A lonely wife sits at her cubicle at work, thinking about how strange her husband has been behaving recently. He has come home angry, he falls asleep without kissing her good night, he's been working extremely late hours.. all the signs that her life experience has told her were signs of cheating. He wouldn't she thought, "After all we've been through; as much as I put out? " Well, maybe not as much as I used to, this kid keeps me extremely busy, and so does my new job, but he knows I'm dead tired, why wouldn't he understand that?" She sits there, tapping her fingers in heavy thought, wondering if her thoughts are even possible. "This man is a great provider, he is a fantastic father, and before these last couple of weeks, he's been a great husband.. But something just isn't right" . "If he was cheating, what would she do?", she thought. "He is a man, a successful good looking one at that. And t…

Forbidden Love : Part 2 of the Sister-Wife Series

Penned by Devin Miller

Your eyes meet, his smile melts your heart. Every touch is like an electric shock to your body, sending impulses to your body that have never been awakened or haven't been for some time. You find yourself thinking about him before you go to bed, when you're getting your coffee for work, when you turn on the radio, you're in love. The relationship with this beautiful captivating man has you caught up in the rapture. It escalated quickly, that first encounter has now turned into weeks. He's educated, he's refined, he's perfect for you, except for one thing. He's Married! (And not to you). At wind of this news, where ever you are, you flee the scene like the culprit of a hit and run.

What's a girl to do? How do you undo the rapture? "He tells you that he doesn't love her anymore, he never loved her. He's never felt this way for anyone else before. Your connection is spiritual." You're a good girl, you've nev…

Throwback Thursday! #Sisterwives

Many  apologies, my lovlies! I know I haven't been on posting as much as I should lately, but never fear, I dug up one of my favorite posts from an old blog. It's called the "SISTERWIFE SERIES" and trust me you'll enjoy it :).  
PS. It's a three part series, so follow along :)  Posted 4/29/14This subject has come up countless times recently, there is an epidemic or a highlighted occurrence that has been sweeping the nation as of recently. The “side chick”, “the other woman”, or “the dip off”; this woman is known by many names and causes peril and frustration to the masses. As Ecclesiastes 1:9 has always said;“What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;there is nothing new under the sun.”This clearly states that anything that is believed to be a new trend is in fact a repeat of what has already been. There’s always been another woman, but what does seem to be new is the glorification of infidelity. There are reality shows, scripted dramas…