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Surviving Distractions: How to identify them and how to stop them

By Felicia Clark 
I sit down to do a write-up with my deadline for completion in two days. After showering, I change into my pajama bottoms and an oversized shirt. I grab a glass of wine, chips, and my laptop. My blanket and pillow are on the sofa. My rain sounds are going. I decided that everything's in place. I plop onto my sofa and proceed to write. All of sudden, PANDEMONIUM. “Ma! Can you please bring me a towel?! I forgot to grab one!” One of my sons yelled from the bathroom.
After grabbing a towel and handing it to an awaiting hand sticking out the slit of the bathroom door, I sat back down upon the sofa and proceeded to write. 
Ring! Ring! Unh unh, not answering. The phone stops ringing. Ring! Ring! Same number. Not answering. Then it rings AGAIN! Same number, belonging to my bestie. She’s called 3 times in a row. She never does that. Something must be wrong. I decided to call her back and try to make it short; no more than 10 minutes, tops

Thirty minutes later, she’s just get…

Ask a Black Man

Hello, my Name is Neroamee Alucard, and this is from a guy's perspective. No, Neroamee isn't my real name but it's my pen name, I'm writing this under my pen name because I'd lose my guy pass if they caught wind of me spilling all this information.

Anyway, Capt Sista Gurl who runs this wonderful blog needed some male help to answer these questions. We received quite a few of them which we're very thankful for. Now let's get down to the answers.

Q: Do men care if a woman makes them wait to have sex?
Answer: No. As long as you're upfront about it. We don't mind waiting but you can't tease someone without the intention of pleasing. That's how you get left on read, and we move on.
In other words, you know that show on Netflix you spent all of last month binging on? You've seen all the cliffhangers and you're at the end. But when u get to the end, it is absolute garbage? Blueballs (male slang for being teased and not getting anything out of it) is sorta like that.

Q: Do men accept their small penis' ? Does their lack their of, make them bigger jerks?

Answer: Dick size, like many things falls on a spectrum. There's  4 levels to it.

3rd leg: This dude will split your lady parts like Moses parted the red sea. This is the kind of dick that has girls on Jerry Springer and Maury. APPROACH WITH CAUTION.

Above average: Not too big, not too small, but he can still hit every wall.

Eh: What a majority of men have, but in a pinch or enhanced skill set, they can get the job done.

Outer belly button : Pray for them. A good chunk of these men can make peace with it, the guys that can't are the guys that post a bunch of gym photos and are jacked like Dwayne Johnson.

Q: Why do men lie about wanting a good woman when they won't hold themselves to those same standards?


Science and society. Its been known for years that women mature faster than men do. In fact the part of the brain that is responsible for decision making doesn't totally develop until your mid 20's on average. So part of it is we're young and stupid and aren't totally ready for a good woman just yet, we haven't lived enough.
The other part is society. In our society with women it's quality over quantity. Whereas with men its the exact opposite. Is it fair? No. Honestly in my opinion is, it's garbage. But I'm not superman, and I can't change society with a blog post. All i can do is give you answers.

Q: Boy Chases Girl, Boy Gets Girl, Boy acts like an asshole. Why is this a thing?


The hunter's instinct. Imagine a predatory animal that isn't Harvey Weinstein.  May a wolf or a tiger or something. You see some fresh deer at 2 o clock, so you start sneaking up to it. You start to get closer and it runs. You run after it, praying it'll get tired before you do, luckily it does. You jump on it and bring it down. You wouldn't spend 5 hours running after you caught your dinner right? Use that same logic to dating. Unfortunately, we have to go through a few heartbreaks before we can ignore this and continue pursuing you even when we have you.
Q: Why do we get mad when we're asked to pick up after ourselves?


Either 1. We're tired and will get to it after we nap or play video games or; 2. The tone in your voice (i.e. you sound like you're nagging or making a federal case out of a jacket on the floor. )
Or 3. You sound like less of a girlfriend or spouse and more of a mother. I'm not Oedipus, I'm not looking to date my mom.

Capt Sista Gurl here! Ladies, we hope you enjoyed Neromee's answers. For more questions for Ask a Black Man, please visit the comment section or email us!
Stand in your light ladies! XOXO


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