Skip to main content

Decoding the Ladies Man

I love crushing gender stigmas and behavior. So to start a new blog series, I would like to talk specifically about the PlayBoy, Ladies Man, or whatever we are calling these men.

Of course culturally a man that has many options is considered a king amongst men. He is winning, he is the guy that you can always count on for an exciting story of his conquests, the one the ladies go crazy for. (Picture Will Smith in the Fresh Prince, The Mack, James Bond..any movie with George Clooney-or Clooney in real life. Perhaps even the President of the United States.)  We can address why society values and exploits this type of a man in a positive manner but...let's skip that part..

Today I would like to focus on the reasons how these men became who they are. And guess what I am not blaming the women they are seeing. (Society spends enough time bringing those ladies down anyway).

The Mike Jones. They were probably the type of boys who didn't get much attention from girls and they had a swan like blossom period. Picture Stephon Urkel vs Steve Urkel. If they didn’t become more handsome, they fell under a popular trend(ie, BEARDS), or fell into some money.

Prior to becoming socially acceptable these guys longed to be the star quarterback but just didn't have it. Now that their popularity has soared, they will exhibit no remorse for any unjust behavior they will make towards women. They can think about every woman that has ever turned them down, and have commenced their payback crusade.

The Momma's Boy- This the guy that got whatever he wanted from his mother, clothes jewelry, affection, attention everything.

She set him up with the expectation that EVERYONE should treat him as good as she does. When he comes of age he realizes that no one woman would be capable of treating him as good as she does, so he gathers a multitude to supplement in the areas these ladies lack. Newsflash..He will eventually find a woman that comes very close but it may be too late.

The Guy with the mommy issues- THIS ONE CAUSES THE MOST DAMAGE. He is the one that may or may not recognize that he has suffered childhood trauma from his mother. She either was not around, or set a very bad example. She had multiple suitors that she exposed her son to, she was abused, or had low self esteem and as he became older he lost respect for her. (These are just a few reasons..there are several).

He has no regard for women whatsoever. He will take their money, misuse their heart, lie, whatever he chooses to do, because women are disposable. Often times, this guy is also very sensitive and uses sex to curve his emotions. He usually finds women who are attracted to men who believe they can save him. She probably thinks she can give him enough love, money, or sex to supplement his damage..Not knowing he is hoarding more women just like her. It does not work. She cannot save him.

The Jerk. He doesn't have any of the issues that the other guys above had, he is just an unfeeling bastard. He doesn’t think twice about anyone else but himself. He is not a very happy person, even though his career is usually intact. He just enjoys the game. He is brutally honest, he doesn’t lie to anyone, because he doesn’t care to protect your feelings.

Ironically, he is the safest option, because you know exactly what you are getting from this guy. There will never be any confusion on where you stand with him. He can grow out of this, when he decides to regain his personal emotions.

My final point. Men are no different than women in the way that they are flawed. Every action can be stemmed from a sequence of events that have made them who they are. I do not condone the behavior of men who misuse women. Just because you can do something, it doesn’t mean that you should. A lot of the things that are found acceptable in society are wrong. Period. We should focus more on being complete human beings and end the habits that are hurting us all the most. 


Popular posts from this blog

When only the Sistas are CANCELED!

New Blogger Alert!!! This post was submitted by the ever talented Seirra Pepin! *****
Drake’s Nice For What dropped just in time to be mine, and plenty of women’s Summer ‘18 anthem. What a thoughtful king. @Defend_Brooklyn said it best, the video has the Infinity Stones of Black women. But Aubrey’s female empowerment jam doesn’t exempt him from flaw.
Like many other rappers, he uses expletives to describe women. He’s belittled Kid Cudi’s mental health. Nevertheless, our problematic fave has yet to be canceled. Neither has Kanye West after his slavery comments, not really.

This isn’t about our Canadian Prince or Chicago’s troubled son. It’s about Black women and the nuance and forgiveness we deny them. Start the cancellation parades organized by forward-thinking millennials (like myself) that aim to diminish the platforms of Cardi B, Chrisette Michelle, Azealia Banks, Tina Campbell, and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Think about how swift, and in some of these cases, impactful, backlash has be…

MUST READ: How to Emotionally Validate Children/Teens

Guess Post Alert!!! Many of you who follow us may remember that we interviewed health therapist, and "Dating With Dev" Site Creator Devon Estes, and it was BRILLIANT. She's been so gracious to share her expertise on an article that most parents and mentors will benefit from! Show her some love! ~ Capt SistaGurl

By Devon Estes M.S.,LPC

As a mental health therapist for teens and their families I find myself teaching emotional validation a lot. For the teens I spend much of their treatment expanding their emotional vocabulary, guiding them into identifying their emotions, helping them identify their needs associated with their emotions, and supporting them into acting on those needs in a healthy productive manner. For their parents, I’m often highlighting the connection between validation/invalidation and the issues they experience with the child, as well as how to help support the child navigate self-validation.  I also find myself debunking the myth that validation is ag…


Disclaimer: The following language are based on views based by Capt SistaGurl and do not reflect the thoughts and opinions of the all the contributing writers of the SistaGurl Blog. Reader discretion is advised. :)

I think it's especially important that when something is on my mind, I share it with my SG readers. Yall are my girls and therefore we must be able to have those conversations that aren't always popular for the betterment of womanhood. Your vagina, can be compared to no other vagina, it was carefully crafted just for your in divine splendor.  It's special. You are special. Here's the part that we so often forget and rarely point out though. As special as your Kitty Love Blossom is, it's only special to you! Literally just you.

Sometimes you may go to the ob/gyne and the physician will tell you how beautiful it is, and how firm your cervix is, but that's because they value those types of things. In real life. It's apart of their job.

Laura, why are…