Skip to main content

When Love Isn't Enough Part:1

Every Wednesday I join a relationship chat on twitter with @sixbrownchicks, and we help out our tweeps with their relationship woes. Also, sistas like to help me with blog ideas and a really good question came up. " What do you do when love isn't enough?". I read the question, and I thought about it deeply before I answered her. The first thing I did was actually contemplated what love really means. For myself, and for the root of my understanding. 

So I asked another #sistagurl what her idea of love really was, and she gave me a poignant answer. She stated that loving someone is being able to see the GOD in them. Marinate on that for a second. I think this encapsulates what love means and it stretches further than just love relationships.

After that, the question asked of me then made more sense. Love, at its core is only the start of a relationship. Its what captures a soul, and connects you to another person. So what do you do when your souls are no longer connected?

In this scenario a friend of a friend is in relationship with a man; and the relationship has gone sour. She has lost patience in him, he is no longer engaged to her needs and she is attempting to seek love elsewhere. All while staying locked into a person her soul has told her is no longer viable to her peace. Most likely physically, but not at all mentally.

One mistake that we often make when in love relationships is we don't communicate in our truths. We may say, passive aggressive things that allude to our displeasure but its very rare that we actually look someone in the eye and say," Look, I'm unhappy with you, and I need something more." Why? Because you would never say to GOD, "GOD I'm not happy with you!!". Because, you know within yourself that GOD has not wronged you, you've wronged yourself. But this is not GOD, this is a human being.

Staring at your lover in a relationship, and knowing you are not happy is the driving force to misery. Do not do this. Looking elsewhere for happiness while still being chained to someone else makes you a liar!! Why?  Because you have voided your commitment application, and didn't inform them. The GOD in you is being tampered with because you aren't giving yourself what you deserve.

My recommendation, stay in it and give it your all until you can't give your all any longer. As a lover, we all want to be able to look at a relationship and say, yes I made mistakes but I tried to rectify them. I was honest with what I needed and I did all I could, I was just not fulfilled. And most importantly, my partner was no longer mine. You can still love a person when this happens.

Oftentimes when in a relationship we forget to choose our self. Don't give up on you, after all, you know what you need and its your responsibility to receive it.


Be blessed Sistagurls! 

~Devin Miller, Sistagurl Capt. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ladies, Make Him Act Right! (From a man's perspective)

So ladies, we have a tendency to get advice from women about MEN far more than we should. So I have a special treat today. We're going to get some advice on how to entice, encourage, and exalt a man from you guested it.. A MAN. I picked one, who speaks with the sole purpose to educate. So some of his language may be a bit harder than you're used to but.. you will not be disappointed. Capt SistaGurl Out! 

Introducing Tikko Brohey 
Ladies do you feel like “dudes ain’t shit” or “dudes don’t act right?” Have you ever thought about the things you do that contribute to that? The answer is probably not. 

Now granted there are dudes out there who just ain’t shit, and that’s just what it is. Majority of men are good men. But his partner can often determine just how good he'll actually be. Every woman deserves to be treated like a queen, as every man deserves to be treated like a king. The disconnect comes from when there’s an argument all the King and Queen shit is out the window. You…

SG's 2019 Holiday Gift Guide - Part 1!

By Capt SistaGurl and SG Team 
Happy Holidays SG!

Around this time of year. Magazines and bloggers around the globe clamor to feature their biggest and brightest Holiday Gift guides with much fanfare. However, larger markets rarely feature small businesses ran and/or operated by women, specifically women of color. Here at the SistaGurl, we wanted to make sure that when we decided to do a gift guide, it was going to be all about our femme-tastic melanin-laden sistas.

It's very important to ensure that small businesses get the exposure that they deserve and we are loving these queens. (We have a few kings in here too.) 
Skincare

Skincare becomes increasingly more important as we age. Women of color have the luxury of having higher amounts of melanin, which gives us more protection from the sun and keeps our skin tighter and younger longer.  However, effects on the skin in the colder months can be unforgiving to even the deepest skin tones.
Captain SistaGurl received few all-natural produ…

Fellas Pregame Your Online Dating Profile: Advice from your future bae

By Rapmusiq
So I’ve been in these internet dating streets for a few years now and I thought I’d do my future Boo a solid and give him the tips on how to snag a certified Queen ;). There’s no way around it, online dating is super weird. Most people are not even quite sure where to start. Shopping for humans isn’t something most people are used to; so we count on our instincts to make a snap decision when swiping right. Here are a few tips for the straight guys out there from a woman’s perspective.
I’ve seen these don’ts on so many profiles and confirmed them as turn-offs in mutual conversations with diverse groups of women. A few subtle changes can be the difference between you ending up in the inbox of the woman you would like to get to know better. Once you’re there let your personality, style, and charm to take it away!
Do's


Post great Pics I have noticed that most straight guys take horrible pics. They’re blurry, half your face is it cut off, you’re in a car with the seat belt stra…