Skip to main content

What's Love Got To Do With It?!


What's Love Got To Do With It? 
By Rapmusiq

When a guy says he loves you, he does not in fact LOVE you.  Well, let me rephrase that. He does not love you in the grand, impassioned, fairy tale princess way that you are envisioning in your mind.  It does not mean he will climb any mountain, cross any sea or slay a dragon for you. It doesn’t mean that he will tell you the truth, be there when you need him most or not have sex with another woman.  It simply means that he recognizes something special, unique and beautiful in your spirit that he aspires to be a part of for some undetermined amount of time, to some undetermined degree.
            
This can be extremely confusing, because up until this point when a guy (boy or man) says he loves you for the first time, the type of love you’ve been most familiar with is the love of your parents (hopefully).  This of course is assuming that you have had a healthy, functional and nurturing relationship with your parents. This doesn’t mean that they or (one of them) was perfect, but it does mean that they tried their hardest and did what they thought was best for you at the time.  A wise woman once told me “No one will ever love you as much as your parent.” Now I know this statement is not true across the board for a variety of reasons.  However, as a broad brush statement, I believe it is true. And I say this to say that for women particulary young women, this sets the standard for the type of love we expect from a man, which in many cases he is not prepared to show.
            
This is an unfortunate disconnect. It leaves girls/women feeling disappointed and the boy/man feeling set up and confused.  And what’s worst in some cases, some woman are looking for, from a man a replacement of the type of love that they did not receive in their home, which is even more difficult to attain.  Many of these men man not have had this type of love in their own homes.  Some of them may have but have trouble translating love from an emotion to action.  Many people do not understand love as a verb. Love is like eating. You may have a breakfast but by lunch you are ready to eat again and if you don’t you are able to feel your own hunger.
            
I give this warning to encourage you to take his words and sentiment with a grain of salt. Meaning, don’t be dismissive of his words or feelings. But I also suggest allow them to be just that words and emotions.  This doesn’t mean an elevated level of commitment, trust or expectation.  Allow his actions, communication, honesty, character and time to elevate these critical relationship components. Many men will love you in your lifetime, most of them will not know how.

Love and Relationships






Rapmusiq is a true renaissance woman by every sense of the word.  Daughter of dance, giver of light and keeper of all things rhythmic. From a long line of strong Jamaican women. Remembering that courage is not the absence of fear, but action despite it. Healer, helper, sister, friend and foe. Finding humor in this faith journey.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ladies, Make Him Act Right! (From a man's perspective)

So ladies, we have a tendency to get advice from women about MEN far more than we should. So I have a special treat today. We're going to get some advice on how to entice, encourage, and exalt a man from you guested it.. A MAN. I picked one, who speaks with the sole purpose to educate. So some of his language may be a bit harder than you're used to but.. you will not be disappointed. Capt SistaGurl Out!  Introducing Tikko Brohey  Ladies do you feel like “dudes ain’t shit” or “dudes don’t act right?” Have you ever thought about the things you do that contribute to that? The answer is probably not.  Now granted there are dudes out there who just ain’t shit, and that’s just what it is. Majority of men are good men. But his partner can often determine just how good he'll actually be. Every woman deserves to be treated like a queen, as every man deserves to be treated like a king. The disconnect comes from when there’s an argument all the King and Queen shit is out the

SG's 2019 Holiday Gift Guide - Part 1!

By Capt SistaGurl and SG Team  Happy Holidays SG! Around this time of year. Magazines and bloggers around the globe clamor to feature their biggest and brightest Holiday Gift guides with much fanfare. However, larger markets rarely feature small businesses ran and/or operated by women, specifically women of color. Here at the SistaGurl, we wanted to make sure that when we decided to do a gift guide, it was going to be all about our femme-tastic melanin-laden sistas. It's very important to ensure that small businesses get the exposure that they deserve and we are loving these queens. (We have a few kings in here too.)  Skincare Skincare becomes increasingly more important as we age. Women of color have the luxury of having higher amounts of melanin, which gives us more protection from the sun and keeps our skin tighter and younger longer.  However, effects on the skin in the colder months can be unforgiving to even the deepest skin tones. Captain SistaGurl  received

Fellas Pregame Your Online Dating Profile: Advice from your future bae

By Rapmusiq So I’ve been in these internet dating streets for a few years now and I thought I’d do my future Boo a solid and give him the tips on how to snag a certified Queen ;). There’s no way around it, online dating is super weird. Most people are not even quite sure where to start. Shopping for humans isn’t something most people are used to; so we count on our instincts to make a snap decision when swiping right. Here are a few tips for the straight guys out there from a woman’s perspective. I’ve seen these don’ts on so many profiles and confirmed them as turn-offs in mutual conversations with diverse groups of women. A few subtle changes can be the difference between you ending up in the inbox of the woman you would like to get to know better. Once you’re there let your personality, style, and charm to take it away! Do's Post great Pics I have noticed that most straight guys take horrible pics. They’re blurry, half your face is it cut off, you’re in