I Ain’t Sorry - Apologies are useless

By Capt

Sista Gurl

I understand the headline was a bit jarring … I’m practicing clickbait, did it work? Now that the pandering is over with… I stand by my statement.

People often look for apologies to be a universal solvent to both large and small problems. Personally, I believe that an apology only satisfies the amends portion of the person doing the apologizing.

Say you experience a deep cut, so severe that you know for certain you’ll need stitches. You rush to the ER and the nurse in triages gives you a bandaid and sends you home. Odds are, by the time you step out the sliding doors of the medical treatment center. You’ve left a blood trail reminiscent of a 90s teen horror film. Did the band-aid work for you then?

I believe that’s the premise of an apology. While people can be truly remorseful for their actions, the only thing that’s going to resemble stitches is the improvement of their future behavior.

As a purveyor of words and someone that understands the power, the phrase “I’m sorry” misses the mark of effectiveness. It’s damn near insulting given the circumstances.

I’m sure we can all come up with examples in which this is true. Especially if the person you’re speaking to is either arrogant, clever in wordplay, or even remorseful.

Here are my personal faves:

“I’m sorry you were offended by what I said.”

"I apologize if I offended you."

"My bad G". Well wait, sometimes I believe this one.

My point isn’t really to rehash times in your past, to have you angrily texting your offender, it’s really for all of us. We’ve all apologized for ridiculous things. “I’m sorry for laughing too hard.” “ I’m sorry I cheated.” “I apologize for cussing you out.”

No no… most likely these things can be perpetuated and repeated.

Pay less attention to the apology and more to the actions. In the process of improving oneself in the new year. Add accountability and self-awareness to your list. And maybe just do better.

Comments

It's Not Love, it's Love Adjacent

It’s my thought that the heart and the mind take turns in sharing authority in how we pattern our personal decisions. They cannot both be in control at the same time, and I believe that there’s a celestial straw pulling to determine which will rule within each given moment. The dangerous part about this is, sometimes when the heart wins, we forget to use our brain . When this happens, we start making decisions that are completely passion driven, hunger driven, and backed behind a receptor that shouldn’t receive as much showtime as it’s getting. Sometimes you fall in love with someone that is all wrong for you. They don’t feed you spiritually, they don’t feed you mentally, and maybe they don’t respect you. But they have ONE or two things on our list, so we keep them around. But by osmosis, all the signs that you saw in the beginning appear a bit less obvious, and now you THINK you love this person. Your heart is in control and your brain is taking a break, your brain has

Ladies, Make Him Act Right! (From a man's perspective)

So ladies, we have a tendency to get advice from women about MEN far more than we should. So I have a special treat today. We're going to get some advice on how to entice, encourage, and exalt a man from you guested it.. A MAN. I picked one, who speaks with the sole purpose to educate. So some of his language may be a bit harder than you're used to but.. you will not be disappointed. Capt SistaGurl Out! Introducing Tikko Brohey Ladies do you feel like “dudes ain’t shit” or “dudes don’t act right?” Have you ever thought about the things you do that contribute to that? The answer is probably not. Now granted there are dudes out there who just ain’t shit, and that’s just what it is. Majority of men are good men. But his partner can often determine just how good he'll actually be. Every woman deserves to be treated like a queen, as every man deserves to be treated like a king. The disconnect comes from when there’s an argument all the King and Queen shit is out the

The Black Freak

Recently Nicki Minaj received a wax statue at Madame Toussads wax museum in Las Vegas. Although this is a huge honor, there have been recent reports stating that her statue requires extra security surrounding it. Spectators at the museum have been flashing photos of her likeness in very indecent poses. Why? Well, because she's on all fours and half naked. Now, I've never been to this place but I went on the website, and viewed a few statues, the only other one half naked, but standing is..RIHANNA. Nicki Minaj in my opinion has willingly fashioned her persona into a modern day Sarah Bartmaan . For those of you unfamiliar, she is best known as the Venus Hottentot, and in life she was an African Woman turned Dutch, turned French tourist attraction, turned science experiment. This is real, look it up if you don’t believe me. Anyway, I say this about Onika because, like Sarah, when there was a rescue attempt to save her, she said (according to history),

The SistaGurl Blog

Search This Blog