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Surviving Distractions: How to identify them and how to stop them

By Felicia Clark 
I sit down to do a write-up with my deadline for completion in two days. After showering, I change into my pajama bottoms and an oversized shirt. I grab a glass of wine, chips, and my laptop. My blanket and pillow are on the sofa. My rain sounds are going. I decided that everything's in place. I plop onto my sofa and proceed to write. All of sudden, PANDEMONIUM. “Ma! Can you please bring me a towel?! I forgot to grab one!” One of my sons yelled from the bathroom.
After grabbing a towel and handing it to an awaiting hand sticking out the slit of the bathroom door, I sat back down upon the sofa and proceeded to write. 
Ring! Ring! Unh unh, not answering. The phone stops ringing. Ring! Ring! Same number. Not answering. Then it rings AGAIN! Same number, belonging to my bestie. She’s called 3 times in a row. She never does that. Something must be wrong. I decided to call her back and try to make it short; no more than 10 minutes, tops

Thirty minutes later, she’s just get…

It's Not Love, it's Love Adjacent

It’s my thought that the heart and the mind take turns in sharing authority in how we pattern our personal decisions. They cannot both be in control at the same time, and I believe that there’s a celestial straw pulling to determine which will rule within each given moment. The dangerous part about this is, sometimes when the heart wins, we forget to use our brain.

When this happens, we start making decisions that are completely passion driven, hunger driven, and backed behind a receptor that shouldn’t receive as much showtime as it’s getting.

Sometimes you fall in love with someone that is all wrong for you. They don’t feed you spiritually, they don’t feed you mentally, and maybe they don’t respect you. But they have ONE or two things on our list, so we keep them around. But by osmosis, all the signs that you saw in the beginning appear a bit less obvious, and now you THINK you love this person.

Your heart is in control and your brain is taking a break, your brain has all of its normal functioning; it’s not really trying that hard to “win you back”. Moment by moment you brain cares less and your insecurities and neediness start to reveal themselves from your heart and not your mind.

The brain is so courageous that it carries our insecurities, and stores them in boxes for safe keeping. So if we need them we’ll use them for something useful, like a motivating factor for self improvement.  HOWEVER, when your heart is in charge, your insecurities can become crutches. Blocking you from the healthy parts of yourself, supplying you with rose colored lenses that align you with STUPIDITY. This causes more harm than good in life. The decisions that you make while this is happening can cause life long effects. I believe the science of falling for the wrong person can tamper with our purpose in life to shatter and amplify our issues with self love.

Love, in its purest form is one of the best, if not the best thing that can happen to us. It is the most powerful feeling, it wakes up body parts that can lie dormant until it exists. It feeds you in a way that nothing else can. So naturally, I would suggest that we continue to seek it. It’s a desire based on a need that catapults us into our happiness. This though, is love in the right hands. That serves the purpose that it’s designed to serve. The other type I’ve been speaking about in this article are so far from what love is supposed to be that it should deserve its own category. LOVE ADJACENT.

So if you are looking for love, remember love is not a tool to loose yourself in. It's a tool to engage and enhance you in a way that you are better and stronger than when it didn't exist in your life.

So often we choose a mate within a fog of loneliness so we can keep up appearances.  I am challenging you within this new year to thrive in your alone time. I am challenging you to remove the constraints of trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing and love yourself first. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ENOUGH. Let go of those who left you before; the heartbreak that occurred in your past and LIVE IN THE PROMISE OF WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU. Anyone that left your life served their purpose and thank them as they walk out the door.

Choose to find real love, one that doesn't start like the climax of a teen drama. Find a real love that flows like a river's current. You want love, not something that looks like it. Do not settle for being love adjacent. When you have it, you will know the difference. You won't still feel lonely when you're in it.

Wishing you abundant light in your day ahead.

Capt SistaGurl Out!


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