Well it's that time of year once more where lovers display their love and affection, and the
broken-hearted display their hate and bad feelings towards Valentine's Day. There are many mixed emotions about Valentine's Day. In the past I have, experienced both great and awful Valentine's Days. I have also had a few in between. However, over the years, I had to learn to enjoy this day. Like I would enjoy any other beautiful day. I would no longer wallow in the, "My life is awful, no one loves me." rhetoric."
First and foremost, Valentine's Day was introduced to me as the anniversary of my grandmother's birth, her birthday! So I was instantly in love with the day. I enjoyed shopping for her birthday gift along with Valentine's Day cards for my classmates. However, the latter always made me anxious. Especially when I had a little crush on some boy, wondering if he would give me a Valentine's Day card. As I got older, this day of love changed it's meaning for me. The majority of my high school years, I did not have a boyfriend and would be in awe when my friend's boy toys showered them with pink and red gifts. Alas, I was left out. Eventually, Valentine's Day became a new found scorned enemy.
I began to despise, even hate this day of "love".
I still loved the idea that it was my grandmother's birthday, but from the hours of 7:30 AM until around 3PM, Valentine's Day and I were not cool! (Insert angry emoji)
During my senior year of high school, I finally had a long term boyfriend. Yay me! No longer would I be left out of cavity producing treats and cheap flowers! I had made it! It was worth the wait because he was the sweetest, most caring hopeless romantic, I had ever meet. Picture this: as soon as I get to my locker, I am greeted by a cute pink and red decorated locker. When I opened it there were a dozen beautiful red roses (not the cheap ones) along with an endearing card to express his love and gratitude for our courtship. YAASSSSSSSS!!!! I am already amazed, gushing, and enamored, but he didn't stop there.
At lunch time I was surprised with a huge red heart balloon that said, "Be My Valentine." I HAVE SURRENDERED TO LOVE, THIS BOY WAS EVERYTHING. However, hold tight because this epic adventure to LOVELAND continues! We had our last class together, Trigonometry. Normally we would walk to class together but on this day he did not meet me at my locker to walk to class. So I gather my things and paid it no mind, as I was already overjoyed by his sincerity throughout the day, I headed to class. As soon as I walked into class everyone was staring at me and I begin to feel awkward until I looked to the right of me. Up against the wall on top of my desk, was the largest, cutest, most adorable teddy bear with a big red bow. Standing next to it, was the most awesome and caring boyfriend an eighteen year old girl could ask for in her short little life. He stole my heart in one day.
One and a half years later we broke up. Yes, heartbreaking, but he made a believer out of me. He allowed me the privilege to feel loved and coveted. Without the commercialism of this day, that is essentially what this celebration is about. This Love Superhero helped change my attitude on romance. Years following, I experienced an array of Valentine's Days. But, I learned that regardless of my relationship status, during that time of year I always had love because I loved myself. That kind of love is more powerful than any, on this earth.
Peace and light
Jamika Bee aka ThatGirlJamika aka illestThrifterAlive