Has the success of others made you feel mediocre?

By Capt SistaGurl

Hi friends! 

Today as we near the end of another week, I want to talk about deflated excellence. For this definition let’s pretend that your excellence in full bloom is similar to a hot air balloon. Considering yourself soaring in the air, being limitless, being amazing. Over time, things happen to cause that ballon to descend a bit more by the day. 

There you are, dropping closer and closer to sea level, having no real idea of how to get back to the clouds. That’s deflated excellence. But instead of it being a hot air balloon. Deflated excellence can look like a decrease in confidence, productivity, or overall good feeling. A person that once loved themselves like Kanye can quickly become Twitter Kanye in a matter of minutes. 

I think we’ve all been there, but for some of us, the time we spend downtrodden can last longer. Consider this blog as your confirmation, of a few things. One, you are still as excellent as you once were, your confidence will ween over time, and that’s okay. 

As I sit here typing and listening to one of Toni Braxton’s saddest albums, let me assure you, that my confident exterior is penetrated more than one might believe. What keeps me going is a few things. 

I lean into my feelings of inadequacy while checking in with myself at the same time. I often ask the following questions: 

1. Did you sleep enough? 

2. Are you hungry? 

3. Can you identify why you’re feeling this way? If you can let’s figure out the deeper meaning of why. 

4. Did you get fresh air? 

5. What did you accomplish today? 

Notice that the majority of these things are related to my overall health. I often suffer the most when I’m tired, hungry, or feeling trapped in the house. There are also times when the identification of what’s going on with us is usually linked to a deeper issue. 

Another example of this is, spending a consecutive 20 minutes scrolling on social media. Notice how I just said 20 minutes. After you’re done you feel less than. That 20 minutes that you spent feed-hopping, put you on a trajectory to highlight negatively everything you don’t have yet, the things you don’t find perfect about yourself/your business, and the most daunting, the influx of things you need to work on. 

I’m afraid to admit how often this happens to me. As a journalist, there’s a lot of time of my day in which I have to be on social media, and Baaaaby, it can be a chore! Sometimes, as much as we seem to be above it, we can suffer from the social media VAPORS. 

We see women and men running around signing major deals, with their perfect hair, and influence, and you take a look in the mirror, with your eye bags, and your covid belly, feeling real mediocre. 

Lean into that and check yourself! All the things you’ve believe are the reality of what you see in others are just what they’re choosing to show you. Their bags have been covered, and you’re witnessing a series of highlights without receiving the full story. 

Most importantly. Their gifts aren’t entitled to you, no more than yours are entitled to them. Take a moment to identify that there are normal moments and low moments for everyone. We should all take solace in knowing that deflated excellence comes for everyone’s edges. Not just yours. 

Outside of social media, the same feeling of melancholy can surface during times of quarantine, work, and many other occurrences. But I want to tell you, friends, you’re fine. Feel your feels when you need to, but try if you can, to not be bogged down by them. Talk to someone who can really get you together. 

I support a therapy practice full of SistaGurl that can definitely help you if the feeling lingers longer than you would like. You can text “Therapy” to 708-722-7221, and my therapy besties at Minds Empowered Counseling Services, will set up a free therapy appointment for you.