Skip to main content

Ladies, were you FRIENDZONED?

We often talk about how men can get out of the friend zone, or the reasons in which they have been friendzoned. However, it is very rare that we discuss women being friendzoned. Mostly because women don’t notice that they have been. Ladies, if you are talking to your Sista Gurls and they say "Hey what happened to (insert name)?" And you say, “Gurl.. I don't know. We just cool now, it's just not like that.” He may have friendzoned you. Here are the possible reasons why.

1. You Crazy!  
Maybe you spent too much time on your first date talking about the time you bleached your ex's clothes when he cheated. Or, maybe you drunk dialed him one too many times. Either way, he thought you were cool. But just a bit too nutty. So you were friendzoned.

2. There was a connection just not romantic one.  
The date lasted for hours because you had so much in common. It was almost like you were related. It's possible that the two of you may have even had sex. But be honest. Neither one of you enjoyed it. You just enjoy each other's company. No physical chemistry at all. Just the makings of a magical friendship.

3. He already has a girlfriend or vice versa.
The two of you are could have something but he respects you well enough to not tarnish you by making you a side piece. Or..perhaps both of you are decent people and you know better. So. Friendzone. (With a caveat to the “wait and see”.)

It is my humble opinion that men will wait on a woman for years if he has to. Not because he is lonely, just the opposite. Men don't lament over what could be.. They just keep it moving and keep you around just in case. You are dope. He is no fool. If his time comes up, he will shoot his shot.

4. You smashed the homey or more than one. A man with high moral fiber, often does not associate romantically with a woman who has been down with his boys. It simply lacks integrity. Even if you slept with his friend 10 years ago, it doesn't matter. He no longer will consider you as an option.

How is that possible Sista Gurls? Several ways:
  1. You told him way too much about your past. Or your current relationship.
  2. You tried to hook him up with your friends. (If you wanted him..why put him on someone else. It is not junior high?)
  3. You didn't give out the “I really like you as more than a friend” vibe.
  4. Your social media profile makes you look either desperate for likes or scorned. You say things like..“All men are dogs.” “All men cheat.” “Black men ain't shit. “Who wants to buy me food? Too many all skin no clothes pics. You did this one queen. It's okay.

In all these scenarios understand that it is okay this happened. The man that is right for you will not friendzone you. Even if he does, one of you will have the fortitude to step out of that matrix and into ZION. In the meantime, keep being your fabulous self. Seek to be whole, and enjoy your guy friends! Besides, how great is it to have a male friend who has your back? They are amazing.



  1. Im always friend zoning myself . It's such a bad habit of mine. But this was a fun piece to read !

  2. I have a friend who gets friendzoned so much it is a part of his nickname. I will share this with him. Hopefully it helps. Nice read.

    1. Christopher we will have to do another post just for him. Men getting friendzoned seems to be more painful. Let him know someone will appreciate him soon enough! We are delighted that you took the time to read our post. Please feel free to like us on Facebook and subscribe to our page :)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When only the Sistas are CANCELED!

New Blogger Alert!!! This post was submitted by the ever talented Seirra Pepin! *****
Drake’s Nice For What dropped just in time to be mine, and plenty of women’s Summer ‘18 anthem. What a thoughtful king. @Defend_Brooklyn said it best, the video has the Infinity Stones of Black women. But Aubrey’s female empowerment jam doesn’t exempt him from flaw.
Like many other rappers, he uses expletives to describe women. He’s belittled Kid Cudi’s mental health. Nevertheless, our problematic fave has yet to be canceled. Neither has Kanye West after his slavery comments, not really.

This isn’t about our Canadian Prince or Chicago’s troubled son. It’s about Black women and the nuance and forgiveness we deny them. Start the cancellation parades organized by forward-thinking millennials (like myself) that aim to diminish the platforms of Cardi B, Chrisette Michelle, Azealia Banks, Tina Campbell, and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Think about how swift, and in some of these cases, impactful, backlash has be…

MUST READ: How to Emotionally Validate Children/Teens

Guess Post Alert!!! Many of you who follow us may remember that we interviewed health therapist, and "Dating With Dev" Site Creator Devon Estes, and it was BRILLIANT. She's been so gracious to share her expertise on an article that most parents and mentors will benefit from! Show her some love! ~ Capt SistaGurl

By Devon Estes M.S.,LPC

As a mental health therapist for teens and their families I find myself teaching emotional validation a lot. For the teens I spend much of their treatment expanding their emotional vocabulary, guiding them into identifying their emotions, helping them identify their needs associated with their emotions, and supporting them into acting on those needs in a healthy productive manner. For their parents, I’m often highlighting the connection between validation/invalidation and the issues they experience with the child, as well as how to help support the child navigate self-validation.  I also find myself debunking the myth that validation is ag…


Disclaimer: The following language are based on views based by Capt SistaGurl and do not reflect the thoughts and opinions of the all the contributing writers of the SistaGurl Blog. Reader discretion is advised. :)

I think it's especially important that when something is on my mind, I share it with my SG readers. Yall are my girls and therefore we must be able to have those conversations that aren't always popular for the betterment of womanhood. Your vagina, can be compared to no other vagina, it was carefully crafted just for your in divine splendor.  It's special. You are special. Here's the part that we so often forget and rarely point out though. As special as your Kitty Love Blossom is, it's only special to you! Literally just you.

Sometimes you may go to the ob/gyne and the physician will tell you how beautiful it is, and how firm your cervix is, but that's because they value those types of things. In real life. It's apart of their job.

Laura, why are…