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Surviving Distractions: How to identify them and how to stop them

By Felicia Clark 
I sit down to do a write-up with my deadline for completion in two days. After showering, I change into my pajama bottoms and an oversized shirt. I grab a glass of wine, chips, and my laptop. My blanket and pillow are on the sofa. My rain sounds are going. I decided that everything's in place. I plop onto my sofa and proceed to write. All of sudden, PANDEMONIUM. “Ma! Can you please bring me a towel?! I forgot to grab one!” One of my sons yelled from the bathroom.
After grabbing a towel and handing it to an awaiting hand sticking out the slit of the bathroom door, I sat back down upon the sofa and proceeded to write. 
Ring! Ring! Unh unh, not answering. The phone stops ringing. Ring! Ring! Same number. Not answering. Then it rings AGAIN! Same number, belonging to my bestie. She’s called 3 times in a row. She never does that. Something must be wrong. I decided to call her back and try to make it short; no more than 10 minutes, tops

Thirty minutes later, she’s just get…

So You're Turning 35...

Hey Friends! 
Remember when we were 12-13 and we knew someone that was thirty+ and thought they were SUPER OLD? Like retirement old? That was around the time you started to make promises to yourself about the magnificent things you would accomplish before turning 30. Some of us namely me, didn't even waste our time with planning a life after 30, because by then, we would have had it all figured out. 
If you have done all those things. Good for you, great for you! Go ahead and stop reading, you'll be more useful on other posts. "Buh Bye." (90's SNL reference). If you're like me and you have barely scratched the surface, stick with me. 

Let's get started. Hey 34 year old.. YOU ARE NOT OLD. You have reached an age that many of our idols and history notables did not make. (Biggie, Tupac, Aaliyah, Left Eye, Mac Miller, Selena, Jimmie Hendrix, Amy Whinehouse, Tami Terrell, Lorraine Hansberry, Bruce Lee, Chris Farley, King Tut, and JESUS). 

Obviously none of us have lived lives as full as the aforementioned, but, there is still time and territory to conquer. 

I recently read an article that listed 35 Great things about being 35. I have to be honest , she didn't hype me up about it. So let's just do 5, we have responsible things to get to, there is no time to belabor the point. 

1. 35 is DOPE AF 
You're not 30 and you're not 40. You're in the sweet spot. You're old enough to know better, and young enough to kinda have an idea of what's on trend and what's poppin in the streets. 

2. You also often do not care about 'what's poppin in the streets'. I understand that terminology may no longer be used, but I am talking to MY people so it's fine. 
We care more about investments, self-care, work-life balance, and stabilizing our community/national condition. That is incredible. We know that life is not promised, and we have far more respect for naps and spa days. 

3. Speaking of Self-Care. 
We no longer travel in packs of 20 every Friday night, wearing way too much makeup, taking way too many shots, and wearing shoes that KILL OUR FEET. This goes for men too. At this age, we save our bandage dresses and five inch heels for special occasions. Who really has 3 days to recover from one night of "fun"? We value our time, and rarely feel guilt when we say no to a night out. 

4. Clubs are weak AF: If you're anything like me, throw in a brunch, a cigar bar, and/or networking event just to mix things up. What's the point of standing in a line, to be squished with a bunch of newly of age CHILDREN at a venue that doesn't even serve food? How about you just give me some wine, tiny bites and classy conversation, or maybe a key note speaker that teaches me how to love myself ? ( I am getting excited just thinking about it). 

4b. Speaking of food, by now, we are working on eating better. We know damn well that we cannot eat a cheeseburger and cheese fries without TERROR TUMMY. Some of us are so in touch with ourselves that we have decided to completely revamp our diets. High five y'all. There is something sexy about someone who drinks 8 glasses of water and doesn't gag when they do it! 

5. You don't really wanna hit all the dangerous targets on your bucket list right now. (Maybe when we get to Will Smith's old age (HA,  just kidding we like LOVE HIM); we will consider cliff diving or bungee jumping off of a helicopter. Right now, our idea of a bold risk consists of betting on ourselves and starting a business or career that we'v'e always wanted to pursue. 

At this age, we know a lot of the things we didn't at 18, 21, 25, and 30 HALLELUJAH. We're finally starting to accept and love ourselves for who we are. This is a great space to be in! If you haven't reached the goals that you planned to reach by now, that doesn't mean that you won't, it just means that you haven't gotten there YET. 

Do not put your foot on the breaks, don't give up on yourself, and please STOP CALLING YOURSELF OLD. There are plenty of people in your life to do it for you. IGNORE THEM WHEN THEY DO IT TOO. Eat right (always have a cheat day), be present, exercise, have some peace, get some sleep, and LOVE YOURSELF. You can't conquer the universe with your soul half full-bones cracking-stuck on the potty because you ate hot Cheetos paired with a 20 oz Pepsi. (Yeah I said it!) 

Like the great poet Kendrick Lamar said, "WE GONE BE ALRIGHT." 

Capt "Almost 35" SistaGurl out! #countdown1123
Photo Credit Gordon Oliver Jr. IG:@Gordon_Oliver_Jr


  1. I like your level of maturity changes. It’s good to know when to make changes , when to give up certain behaviors, and set goals for yourself. Reach for the stars Laura , have a glass of champagne instead of a Pepsi and hot chips.


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