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Surviving Distractions: How to identify them and how to stop them

By Felicia Clark 
I sit down to do a write-up with my deadline for completion in two days. After showering, I change into my pajama bottoms and an oversized shirt. I grab a glass of wine, chips, and my laptop. My blanket and pillow are on the sofa. My rain sounds are going. I decided that everything's in place. I plop onto my sofa and proceed to write. All of sudden, PANDEMONIUM. “Ma! Can you please bring me a towel?! I forgot to grab one!” One of my sons yelled from the bathroom.
After grabbing a towel and handing it to an awaiting hand sticking out the slit of the bathroom door, I sat back down upon the sofa and proceeded to write. 
Ring! Ring! Unh unh, not answering. The phone stops ringing. Ring! Ring! Same number. Not answering. Then it rings AGAIN! Same number, belonging to my bestie. She’s called 3 times in a row. She never does that. Something must be wrong. I decided to call her back and try to make it short; no more than 10 minutes, tops. 

Thirty minutes later, she’s just get…
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Sisterhood or Nah?

As of late, there’s been rumblings of Facebook groups that are geared towards exposing men of their infidelity. “Sis is this your man?” is the name of the new group. First thing I want to mention is the irony of the title. SIS? Really?? Whomever created this group or series of groups is mocking the hell out of sisterhood by the mere mention that she is your sister. Naturally if she was, you’d be more careful with her heart than to publicly/within a private group of spectators, oust her and her man.

Real quick in case you don’t know how to have that conversation if it happens to you, I’ll tell you. I’ve been on all sides of this so trust me, I’m speaking from experience. It’s best to first ask the woman how she’s doing, to tailor the tone of your voice to not sound TOO EXCITED about the news, maybe ask her how her relationship is, to gauge what’s going on with her and her mate. Then ask her if someone had some information about his dishonesty would she want to know. IF SHE SAYS NO. CHANGE THE SUBJECT. I’m trying to save you, because quite frankly, even if she says yes, she could hate you forever.

Anywho back to this group. I may feel differently about it later, but right now, my resolve for DUMBASS things that would only depress me about human nature, or women is very low. You can feel the anxiety, calamity, and anguish in these groups. Ladies are literally volunteering their men probably praying that no one knows him. Not only that, some of the single ladies are having a field day reveling in the amusement. So they can run to their perspective social media pages, and dog women for their stupidity and validate their negative feelings towards black men.  WHY YALL? Seriously are we really this unfortunate? Is this the state of black relationships in society? Tear down the ones that exist, in the guise that we’re helping each other. COME THE FUCK ON YALL.

You mean to tell me that in your years of infinite wisdom, you’ve never been her?  You’ve never been the side piece? I’ll answer for you, you have. So maybe we should find more constructive things to do with our time then to find new inventive ways to make each other feel worse? Just for a little bit.

I don’t expect you all to hallelujah hand clap off of this post. I really don’t, because what I’m saying is an unpopular opinion. I actually value sisterhood, I don’t spend half my day finding humor in pain and brokenness. I’d rather we do better as black women, I know we have a boat load of things that we go through outside of ourselves and with each other. But I think we should be able to meet in the middle on somethings, this is one of those things. Try not to call a woman your sister while you’re stabbing her in the back. Do me that favor.

Capt SistaGurl Out

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