Skip to main content

That Meh feeling that just won't let up!

By Nikia Webster

I swore to myself that I would start the year with a renewed sense of energy and a newfound list of ideas, only to find myself entering the year with a few more unfinished items on my to-do list and even less motivation. Even the nature of this article was meant to be different, but alas, I'm exhausted, so instead, I'd like to take a moment and talk to those who keep grinding even when they're completely unaware of what's going on around them. 

As we settle into 2021, understandably, many aren’t feeling rather enthused. 2020 was as a year engulfed in loss, civil unrest, and the beginning of an ongoing global pandemic crowned by a silent ball drop on New Year’s Eve. Despite the aforementioned series of events many of you may still be thinking, “I hear what you’re saying, but there’s work to do. People are counting on me. My job needs me. Not to mention my children require my immediate attention and don’t get me started on the deadlines that I set for myself in 2017.”

Let’s discuss taking a break and deconstructing the false senses of urgency that we sometimes put on ourselves as a result of being our own worst critic. Before we go too far, let's take a moment. Can I be honest? Like. Real honest. Get this. The only person who expects you to be “perfect” is you. No one else is watching as closely as you may think. You’ve crafted a world in which you’re center stage, be it Wonder Woman or Superman, you’re under the impression the world needs you to survive.

If you don’t pick your daughter up from choir practice at 3:30 on the dot you subconsciously fear that she’ll privately resent you until she has a child of her own to accidentally forget about. If you neglect your spouse for a short time due to increased levels of stress you may begin telling yourself, “They’re going to leave me.” You worry that taking a day off from work will result in your immediate termination despite being one of your company’s highest-performing associates.

Trust me, while I fully understand your plight, I have to ask. At what cost? Per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention  (CDC) increased stress levels during an infectious disease outbreak can cause; 

  • Changes in sleeping patterns
  • Worsening of chronic and/or mental health conditions 
  • Concern and worry about your well-being and the well-being of those around you

The CDC also reports increased use of substances such as alcohol and tobacco as many of us are experiencing feelings of isolation, depression, and other emotional weights in addition to financial stressors. I fully believe 2021 can still be your year, but 1st let’s rest. Here are 3 ways we can reduce stress while still having to balance a full schedule:  

It’s Okay To Give The News Cycle A Break 

If you feel like the news is stressing you out, it is and you aren’t the only one. How news is presented often triggers a release of dopamine, the neurochemical responsible for labeling experiences as meaningful, making us want to seek them over and over again. When you distance yourself from news and social media by taking time to participate in outside activities you’re automatically creating an armor against the barrage of negativity that can be produced by information overload. Additionally, seeking accurate and up to date information from a trusted source can help cut down feelings of anxiousness. 

Consider Adopting Mindfulness Practices/Healthier Habits 

This isn’t a call to order every spiritual book and yoga accessory you can find listed on Amazon. I am suggesting, however; 


  • Eating regular, healthy meals
  • Practicing deep breathing exercises/Meditation
  • Practicing daily affirmations 
  • Becoming more mindful in the present
  • Exercise 
  • A hot bath, a long walk, or similar activity 

Identify Your Resources 

It’s important to check in with yourself as frequently as possible. Now, more than ever, self-care should be at the forefront of your mind. If your mental health worsens and you’re considering self-harm contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-273-8255. 

If you’d like to gain access to a large network of licensed counselors who can help with a range of issues including, but not limited to, anxiety, depression, and trauma visit BetterHelp | Professional Counseling. With Better help, “You get the same professionalism and quality you would expect from an in-office, but with the ability to communicate when and how you want.” 

You can learn more about additional resources or uncover local avenues for treatment by visiting Mental

Taking care of your mental health may seem tedious or insignificant, but the act is an essential part of overall health and well-being. Our mental health directly affects how we move, communicate, and handle crises. Do yourself a favor and spend a little time meeting yourself halfway. I promise you won't regret it, here's to overcoming every challenge while truly expecting better, doing better, and believing better as we continue to make progress.

Meet Nikia Webster: Certified Life-Coach, Podcaster, and all-around badass human. Nikia hosts The Expect Effect Podcast that streams on all podcast platforms. At The Expect Effect, self-care is their primary focus. They're committed to teaching others the importance of self-love encompassed with recommended best practices to ensure personal success. 


Popular posts from this blog

Ladies, Make Him Act Right! (From a man's perspective)

So ladies, we have a tendency to get advice from women about MEN far more than we should. So I have a special treat today. We're going to get some advice on how to entice, encourage, and exalt a man from you guested it.. A MAN. I picked one, who speaks with the sole purpose to educate. So some of his language may be a bit harder than you're used to but.. you will not be disappointed. Capt SistaGurl Out!  Introducing Tikko Brohey  Ladies do you feel like “dudes ain’t shit” or “dudes don’t act right?” Have you ever thought about the things you do that contribute to that? The answer is probably not.  Now granted there are dudes out there who just ain’t shit, and that’s just what it is. Majority of men are good men. But his partner can often determine just how good he'll actually be. Every woman deserves to be treated like a queen, as every man deserves to be treated like a king. The disconnect comes from when there’s an argument all the King and Queen shit is out the

Why the Death of DMX Hurts

By Capt SistaGurl Laura Miller DMX has always been a friend to the youth, specifically young black men growing up in the age of Hip Hop who needed someone to help explain the daily pain that they were experiencing. They had X in his edgy brilliance. He didn't walk around pretending to be someone he wasn't. He was someone who we’ve watched soar to the highest of heights and fall just as fast and hard.  Before DMX I don't think there was any rapper who had explained the pains of feeling abandoned better. He resonated with a generation of black males who were born in the '80s, '90s , and 00's UNLOVED. Our community often grazes over young black men in this way. Supported by no one but themselves. He touched them, and he also touched the women and men who understood this type of pain. His lyrics were true to who he was and who he would always be. A real ass dude trying to figure it out. Trying to understand the pressures of his celebrity. Navigating through The agon

The Church is Failing: The Young Black Male

This is a taboo subject. That I’ve thought about quite a bit but never had the courage to really vocalize. Courage and fear are funny things because one of them is just as strong as the other, it’s just a question of which one you choose to live in. So today, I choose to live within a courageous light. Why, being a black woman, and an active christian would I have a fear vocalizing my opinion on how black men have been failed by the church? Messages are often misconstrued based on the perception of the reader. Additionally, it’s best practice to NOT add any fire to the flame of those that question institutionalized religion. However, in this case, I think I’d like to get this out with the hopes that some black man, within a particular age, will utilize this post as a reason to do better in reaching young black men. There was a time when the core of the civil rights movement was centered around black men and women within religious faiths. They actively worked together,